Okay all (by “all” I mean “all 3 of our readers”), I need to blow off a little fucking steam, so here are the top five things that I hate as of now. This list is subject to change at my discretion. If you don’t like that, kiss my hairy ass.

1. People who pass me on the right: you can go to hell. Are you really in that big of a hurry? I’m going to catch up with you, I do drive relativley fast. Do you think you’re better than everyone else? I hope you drop you drop the ball, flake out and slam into a parked car. And I hope you die in the crash and wake up at the DMV.

2. Stepping in water with a fresh pair of socks on: AAAAAAAHHH. SERIOUSLY. Why is there water on the ground in my apartment?! Either my roommate just got out of the shower, or the sink splashed or the ceiling leaked, but that has to be one of the most annoying feelings I know of.

3. The sound of a fork scraping against teeth: this just makes me shudder. Who actually uses thier teeth to scrape the food off of a fork? Doesn’t that vibrate uncomfortably? Well, if it doesn’t you’re lucky, but please stop doing it - it’s like nails on a chalkboard on steroids.

4. PETA: now, I love animals, and their rights, yada yada, but PETA is an organization brought together by Satan himself to single-handedly smite the human race. Any group that puts bunnies ahead of people on the “be nice to” scale deserves a kick in the shin with golf shoes. Man. Just mind your own fucking business. Yeah, I’m eating a burger. And, I’m saving a carrot. Murderers.

5. Yanni: always have, always will. ‘Nuff said.